


It’s Not Quite Sixteen And Pregnant But It’s Damn Near The Same Thing And It Still Fucking Sucks

by DeathsLastPrayer



Series: We’re Going To Have A Baby, Asshole, And I’m Scared So How The Hell Are We Gonna Do This [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age gap (4 years), All of the fluff... eventually, And it's set in a future with future tech and what have you, Can't think of anything else at the moment, I consider this crack for so many reasons, M/M, Mpreg, Oh! It's a true alternate universe (you'll see), Seriously., Starting with MPreg, and fluff, daddy!jean, pregnant!Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:45:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathsLastPrayer/pseuds/DeathsLastPrayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which: Eren and Jean are friends that have sex and that leads to friends that are expecting and freaking the fuck out. Or, the one where Eren's pregnant and hormonal and Jean has everything under control. </p>
<p>Daddy!Jean x Pregnant!Eren</p>
<p>(Really, this is just me shamelessly writing about what it would be like if one of my favorite pairs were unexpectant parents trying to deal with it)!</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s Not Quite Sixteen And Pregnant But It’s Damn Near The Same Thing And It Still Fucking Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> Hate these at the beginning but a few things need mentioning.
> 
> -This story takes place in a genuine alternate Universe -as in, a universe that follows none of the rules of our modern society. More explanation at the end.  
>  -Future setting where there's technology and social systems/customs at hand that we don't have.  
>  -Why I consider this crack-ish: I will never fully explain how procreation works in this universe because that's so not what this story is about (so sorry to anyone who wanted that info)!  

> 
> That's that!

“I’m pregnant.” 

Jean opens his mouth and lets it click shut and repeats that a few more times before he finally manages to get out a choked, “What?” 

And Eren wants to punch him. He wants to punch Jean right in the jaw for sounding and looking like an idiot but, instead, he takes a deep breath (calms down a bit) and- “I’m fucking pregnant, you asshole.” 

“How did- When did-” Jean clears his throat, “Are you sure?” Because they’ve been using protection ever since Eren quit using birth control. Except… except they didn’t a few weeks ago when they got really shit faced at Reiner’s birthday party and fucked in his upstairs bathroom like horny high school kids and- “Fuck…” Jean knows for a fact that Eren’s sure. 

He can’t think of a time when Eren’s made a claim that he wasn’t certain of. 

Not when it’s about something so serious. 

And- fuck! 

They’re so fucked… 

“Yeah, ‘fuck’.” Because Eren agrees: they’re so, so fucked. In so many ways and for so many reasons. More him than Jean but- “But- yeah, I’m sure. I… you know how I’ve been telling you that I’ve been feeling really shitty lately and I thought I had food poisoning from that shitty Italian place you made me go to?” 

Jean nods. He remembers Eren running to the bathroom in the middle of their phone conversation just a few nights ago and Jean wanted to go over there and take him to the emergency but Eren brushed him off and- 

“Apparently, it’s fucking pregnancy sickness.” Fucking mornings and nights spent hunched over and clutching the toilet seat. “But I wish it was food poisoning.” Food poisoning would’ve been a helluva lot easier to deal with than- than- than _pregnancy_. “Anyway, I took one of those stupid little fucking test from the vend and- yeah. I’m pregnant.” His throat constricts just saying those words. 

Jean doesn’t fare any better but he can’t find anything to say- just lets the words sink in- 

Or tries to until Eren says, “I, uh, I’m gonna go to a clinic to see for sure but, I thought I should let you know that there’s a possibility. That this might be really fucking real. And, uh… you can come. If you want.” 

“You _thought_ you should let me know… and I can come… if I _want_?” Which sounds like the polite way of saying, “ _you’re just an afterthought”_ and it makes Jean frown. 

Did Eren expect him to bail or some shit? 

Yeah, fine. They’re not a couple and they’re not best friends and –fine! They’re more or less childhood frenemies reconnected and turned fuck buddies caught in a really shitty situation but- really? Does Eren honestly have such little faith in him? 

They grew up around each other and share friends and the sex is newish (and crazy incredible) but, because of all of that, Eren should know him. Jean _thought_ that Eren knew him better than that. Maybe not if the bastard truly believes that he’ll call it quits on everything they’ve built up over the last two decades. That he must be the biggest fucking dick and is willing to turn his back now that Eren’s pregnant because it _definitely_ doesn’t take two to make a baby. 

Yeah fucking right. 

So Jean’s insulted. Really fucking insulted that Eren thinks so little of him after a lifetime of knowing each other (which he says with the facial expressions to match). 

Eren bristles. He sits up straight and glares with sharp teal eyes that cut straight to Jean’s core. “ _You’re_ insulted? You’re insulted that _I_ don’t know what the fuck is going on or going to happen or even what the fuck you’re thinking when I’m the pregnant one.” 

For the second time that night, he wants to punch Jean in the face. Has the strongest urge to do only that and he has to brace himself. Has to count backwards from ten (twice) because Jean’s bitching about wording or lack thereof and Eren doesn’t have any fucking time for that. 

None. 

“I’m not a fucking mind reader, Jean. I don’t know what the fuck you think about all of this but I _do_ know what I think. And I’m pretty fucking sure that _I’m_ fucked. I know that _I’m_ having a fucking baby, whether I want to or not. And, you know what, this kid inside of me is fucked too because he or she is a product of me. Of a fucking fuck up. I’m still in fucking college, Jean. My last year. I’m so fucking close to the finish line and now I’m fucking it up, which will fuck up this kids life because of all the shit that I won’t be able to do for it and- And if _I’m_ fucked. _My kid_ is fucked.” His dreams, his goals, the places he wanted to go, the things he wanted to see… it’s all gone now. All of it. 

And- oh god… He’s going to have to tell his parents. He’ll have to because they pay his bills. His mom still does his laundry on weekends when he comes home to visit- 

“I-” 

Eren cuts Jean off with one narrowed gaze. “But _you. You’re_ busy being insulted over my fucking wording and lack of immediate concern for you when you’re not the one that’s fucking pregnant. _You_ haven’t had to carry this fucking knowledge around for the last two days while freaking out about a fucking future that just won’t be anymore. _You_ already have your life so don’t even think about bitching at me over bullshit right now or so help me.” 

Jean has no words for that. None. Because Eren’s sort of right- 

“You know, I can’t even blame all of this on you because this shit takes two. Two people to fuck and protect themselves from shit like this. I was supposed to protect myself, right. And I didn’t do that. I was so fucking stupid… stupid enough to make a baby with no plan and- Do you honestly think I give a fuck about how _insulted_ you feel right now?” By the end of his ranting, Eren’s standing and pacing and staring and- 

And he’s about to have a panic attack because he’s pretty fucking sure that he’s pregnant and it’s not something that he planned to happen or wanted to happen but it _is_ happening. It _is_. And he’s going to be a mom. He’s going to have to think about supporting someone other than himself and living for someone other than himself and _being_ for someone other than himself and- 

He never planned for that. 

Not now. 

He isn’t prepared. 

But he has to be. 

Because everything is about to change- 

Fuck. 

Fuck! 

It’s getting so fucking hard to breathe and his chest feels so tight… his vision is swimming all over the place- 

“Eren!” Jean stands up and grabs Eren’s face. He makes those gorgeous sea green eyes focus on him, “Ere, you gotta breathe, alright. Breathe.” 

Eren inhales. Wheezes. Exhales. 

“Come on. Breathe, Ere. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Jean means that in so many ways. 

Eren wants to believe him. Wants to believe the sincerity etched into topaz corneas. He takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around himself because he feels vulnerable and that’s not a feeling he’s familiar with. “I’m so scared, Jean. I- We know jack shit about raising a kid. We can’t even manage our own shitty relationship half of the time so how the fuck is this supposed to work? How?” 

Sure, they’re friends-ish. Friends that have known each other since diapers but fell off for a few years and then reunited and now they fuck and argue and fight and occasionally hang out and share friends but live two different lives but still manage to keep in contact and- And that’s not a fucking life for a baby to come in to. 

It’s just not. 

But Jean’s pretty sure that, between the two of them, they can do it. So he pulls Eren close, brushes dark bangs out of the way to stare into surreal green-blue eyes, “We’ll figure it out.” It sounds more believable when he hears himself say those words aloud. “First things first, we’ll go to the clinic. Together.” 

Despite all of the bullshit running through Eren’s mind, that makes him smile. “Yeah, okay.” 

  


* * *

* * *

  


Four weeks, Two days, 19 hours, and 56 minutes: the age of their unborn children. 

Yes… children. 

They’re having twins and, according to the DNA scanner, they’re having two identical little girls that Jean definitely fathered. 

Two baby girls… 

At one time. 

Pregnancy is turning into the gift that just keeps on giving. 

One of those gifts that Eren would return if he could because it’s driving him crazy. The numbers and statistics and- and it’s all driving him crazy. See, he’s a numbers guy –eats/breathes/sleeps/dreams/lives through numbers. Math and science, charts and figures, formulas and equations… those are the sorts of things that he knows. That he’s good at and with –can rattle them off without a second thought or glance. 

Which is why he goes numb as soon as the doctor says “ _Congratulations, it’s twins_ ” because Eren hears, “ _Debt for life and the end of your dreams prematurely, good luck_ ”. 

Eren could have handled one baby. He was sort of prepared for that –had the numbers worked out and semi-crunched the instant his first pregnancy test came up positive and he had a mini-panic attack. Just a mini one. Having one baby… yeah. Eren was ready for that sort of stress –for a daunting task that wouldn’t be impossible, just a struggle. He was even sort of ready for how much one child would change his life (because it would change- his entire life was and is going to change). 

It could’ve worked out. 

But two… Having two babies at once with where he is in life… 

He’s so fucked that it’s not even funny. 

And everything- every goddamned thing under the sun- is going to change. 

All of the plans that were carefully crafted and dreamt up over the years. Lifestyle choices. Goals. Aspirations. Relationships. 

That sort of everything. 

Yeah. Just hearing the doctor say, “ _Congratulations, you’re having twins_ ” is confirmation of the inevitable. 

For Eren. 

Because Jean’s mind takes a different route entirely when those words make reality set in. 

His mind goes to the numbers too. He loves them the same as Eren –loves all of the bullshit that comes with being a man of science because he’s pragmatic and practical. The essence of science in a nutshell. But he’s sort of a walking contradiction on account that he really fucking hates impossibilities. As soon as an “impossibility” pops up, his mind immediately tries to work around it –like a switch that clicks on and lets him clearly view all available options in order to choose the best one. Even if the chances are close to nil. 

That’s the reason he finished college early. The reason why he works for a major software development firm. And that’s why he’s always been Eren’s perfect foil. 

Ever since they were brats (and they’re four years apart –age wise). 

Even though they have the whole, “nothing is truly impossible” mindset in common, they approach it in complete different ways. 

Especially under pressure. 

Whenever Eren gets boxed in or cornered, he immediately reacts like an explosion tampered with in all of the wrong ways. He either shuts down or becomes too frantic and upset to make logical decisions so he just ends up exploding emotions all over the place. But Jean… Jean thinks and contemplates and considers before taking any action –whether he’s boxed in or given a world of space. 

So Eren’s freaking out and, like always, he only thinks about himself or his own self-preservation when it comes to their current situation. From going broke to raising a kid alone to his life being over –Eren is only thinking about himself in the equation. Which is why he’s so fucking overwhelmed in the first place. 

But, if Eren took a second to breathe and clear his mind, then he’d realize he’s not alone. 

Because he’s not. 

Jean’s been making plans ever since Eren waltzed into his loft and said, “ _I’m pregnant_ ”. Granted, he freaked the fuck out on the inside because he’s not ready to be a dad –not by a long shot. Still isn’t ready but it’s what he has to do. 

So, Jean has plans and a shit ton of options. 

Unlike Eren, his life is (for the most part) all figured out. 

He’s a citizen with a good job, awesome benefits, and health coverage (because, when you’re older, you realize how much that shit matters). His loft is a total bachelor’s pad but it’s big and open and right in the heart of LA –has more than enough space for two babies and Eren. As for money… again, Jean loves his job and has more than enough credits just loitering around in his accounts so money’s not an issue. Two children won’t be an issue (when it comes to money, that is). 

Yes, his life is about to drastically change but Jean’s pretty sure he can work his mind around that. 

No more traveling or partying just for the hell of it. No more hooking up with whoever, whenever the fuck he wants to (not that that’s exactly been a thing since he and Eren started sleeping together but it definitely can’t be a thing now). No more frivolous spending or splurging (not with twins who just so happen to be girls because girls are fucking expensive). 

There’ll be “no more” with regard to a lot of things but, ultimately, that’s part of growing up and accepting the mistakes he’s made. 

Knocking Eren up is probably the biggest mistake that he’s ever made but Jean can’t help thinking “ _at least it’s Eren_ ”. 

Despite all of their differences, they are friends. Mostly. Mostly friends because he’s known Eren since Eren was in the womb (because their dads are business partners and their moms are best friends). At one point in time, they were even neighbors for about a decade. Sure, he and Eren didn’t always get along (and haven’t throughout the years) but they’ve always been _something._ Have always been a part of each other’s lives in some form or fashion. There was a little bit of a “hiatus” around the time he finished college and Eren started but they found their way back –as soon as Eren moved to LA for school, they found their way back. 

Of course, their relationship evolved again. 

And Jean’ll take the blame for that. 

For telling Eren to come out to dinner with him because (at that point) it’d been about three years since they’d seen one another. But he felt like showing off to the shit talking annoyance from his youth –showing Eren that he became someone and did something with his life. And then Eren showed up to Sur and Jean thought that maybe- just maybe Eren decided to show him a little something too. 

Maybe. 

Because fucking wiry and nerdy Eren wasn’t all wiry and nerdy anymore. He was sleek and slender with feathered dark chocolate hair and amazing (if not obnoxiously) bright and expressive aquamarine eyes that weren’t hidden behind thick glasses. Eren was confident and proud and cocky and still an arrogant prick but- fuck it. Eren was sexy. 

Is sexy. 

So Jean blames himself for their relationship evolving from “old friends” to new friends that fuck from time to time. 

Just so happens that one of those “from time to time” fucks created children. 

And now he has to take responsibility for that. 

Jean’s thoughts come to a screeching halt when Eren finally stops pacing and stands right in front of him, tone quivering when he says, “Tell me that we’ll be okay.” 

“We’ll be okay.” He doesn’t hesitate and, honestly, the more he says it, the more truth it’s starting to hold. “Come here.” 

Eren walks into Jean’s space, stands right between opened legs and runs his hands through Jean’s soft blond hair because he needs to touch him –to touch and feel that Jean is real. Everything that’s happening is very real. “We’re gonna be parents. We’re gonna be parents and we have to tell our parents.” 

“And it’ll work out. We’ll be the best fucking parents that anyone has ever seen.” Though Jean doesn’t exactly believe that, it’s worth saying it just to see Eren’s pink lips twitch. “Anyway, before we tell anyone anything, I think we should get our shit together first. Figure out what we’re going to do and how –have some sort of plan that makes sense to the both of us.” He makes sure that Eren’s looking at him before he says the next part –makes sure that Eren can _see_ him. “I want you to know that I want them. That I plan on being with you every step of the way for this. You’re not alone.” 

Eren frowns because it’s his default expression whenever Jean says something that catches him off guard and renders him speechless. What the fuck is he supposed to say to that? Yeah, he wasn’t expecting Jean to be jumping for joy about the news but he also wasn’t expecting Jean to be so calm and level-headed. And Jean has been calm the entire time. 

Calmer than Eren can give himself credit for. 

And now Jean’s spouting some shit about not hanging him out to dry or letting him do this alone and- and Eren feels caught out so he answers the only way he knows how, “Well duh, bastard.” With a smartass retort. 

It makes Jean snort, “Because you definitely knew that, huh moron?” 

“Asshat.” 

“Idiot.” 

“Horse face.” 

Jean’s lips twitch because Eren’s full on smiling now and that’s way better than that dismal expression he’s been sporting. Eren’s beautiful when he smiles and it’s thoughts like those that prompt Jean to outright ask, “Can I kiss you?” 

Eren’s lips purse and his cheeks color as he just stares at Jean. Kissing outside of sex or being drunk or- “Just because we’re having kids, it doesn’t mean that we have to make this- make what we have into more than it already is.” Because they’re not a couple. 

They’re just friends. 

That’s it. 

Friends that have really good sex. 

Friends that see other people and do other things. 

And Eren has never once thought about wanting anything more than that (because he’s young and in college and enjoys his freedom). He’s pretty sure that Jean’s never thought about it either (at least, not with him). So, just because they’re having babies- having two children that have half of his DNA and half of Jean’s, it’s not some sort of segue to a relationship that wasn’t there before. 

Eren definitely doesn’t want to force- 

“What we had is already more than what it was supposed to be. You’re pregnant. But I already know that we don’t have to be more than friends to make this situation work. It still doesn’t change the fact that I just feel like kissing you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re prematurely making me a dad and I never would’ve thought that I’d like the sound of that but the more I think about it, the more the idea grows on me. Plus, I think pregnant you is sort of sexy-” 

“I’m not even showing,” Eren laughs, “So maybe you’re just a pervert.” 

“Maybe.” Jean let’s his hand trail up Eren’s shirt –let’s his fingers graze the soft, smooth flesh of Eren’s stomach, “But there’s something to be said about knowing that a part of me will be inside of you for the next eight months.” 

Despite the nonsense coming out of Jean’s moth, Eren’s insides turn to mush and he gets stuck in honey brown depths. “Just shut up and kiss me if that’s what you want.” 

“Alright.” 

Jean stands and cups Eren’s face, places a soft, teasing kiss to slightly parted lips before tilting Eren’s head. Swallowing that plump bottom lip makes him groan –Eren tastes like sugar and spice and it’s so addictive. Very addictive. So Jean can’t help tasting and toying with the seam of those lips –can’t stop himself from coaxing open that hot, hot mouth and licking into it like he’s been craving Eren for days. He blames the fact that he’s a bit high off of his own words (from the knowledge that a piece of him has staked claim to a piece of Eren that nobody else can touch). He’s always been a bit of a possessive bastard when it comes to the things he holds dear. 

So if he takes his time savoring and sampling Eren’s mouth, it’s his own ego fueling him. 

Lucky for Jean, Eren’s used to his mouth (which he never once thought he’d say or think). So he doesn’t mind letting Jean have complete control –doesn’t mind following Jean’s lead so that he can just enjoy being ravished. When they separate, he unconsciously licks his lips because they feel tender and he can still taste Jean (sweet and salty and bitter from the tang of cigarettes). 

Just that much makes Jean want to kiss him again with the promise of more to come later but it’ll have to wait. For now, he settles with wrapping his arms around Eren’s waist and keeping him close, “Since you don’t have class on Monday or any more classes today, why don’t you just stay at my place for the weekend. We can think about and plan for the future. Talk shit over. Make appointments. Whatever you want.” 

“Yeah… okay.” 

“We’ll be alright, Ere. I promise.” 

Eren believes him. Believes those honey-brown eyes and that soft-sweet voice. “Okay.” Eren believes Jean when he says that they’ll be okay. 

  


* * *

* * *

  


“Eren, that you?!?! I’ve been pinging your COM and-” Armin cuts himself off when he catches Jean in the entry of the apartment. Jean with Eren’s keys… Interesting. “Oh! Hey Jean.” 

“Yo!” Jean kicks his boots off and waves. “Sorry for just coming in but Eren wanted some of his shit- he’s staying at my place for a few days and-” 

Armin waves his hand dismissively, “It’s not like you’re a stranger or anything. But that at least explains why he’s not answering his COM.” He trails off a bit and stares at Jean carefully, “Did he say anything to you?” 

“About?” The only reason Jean can pull off sounding confused is because he is. 

On the drive to his loft, Eren decides that they won’t tell anyone about the pregnancy until after the first trimester. It’s because Eren’s superstitious and he really doesn’t give a damn how illogical being superstitious is. According to Eren’s mom, boasting prematurely about anything is bad luck. Pregnancy is one of those things that shouldn’t be talked about until the babies hit the three month mark because (apparently) making it to three months makes it a sure thing. If they can make it that far, then they’ll tell people but not before then. 

Jean thinks Eren’s being ridiculous but, again, Eren doesn’t give a damn. 

Logic might win over a lot of things but not over superstition. 

Not when it comes to Eren. 

So if Armin knows something about the pregnancy then Eren broke his own rules and- 

“Eren’s been really sick lately and he said he was going to the clinic today after class. I figure, since he’s with you, he might’ve told you about it or-” 

“Ah, yeah. He’ll be okay. Just a stomach virus.” Which isn’t a complete lie because it sort of is a stomach virus. Sort of. In the loosest way possible. 

Armin hums and keeps watching Jean. Studies the way Jean walks across the apartment and over to Eren’s arm chair to grab his blanket before rustling around on the side to nab Eren’s backpack. He can’t help paying attention because it’s Jean and Jean is such a curiosity. One that Eren downplays all of the time but just watching Jean move around their apartment like he’s always there says more than enough. It makes Armin want to pry. 

Which he does- “Eren’s staying over your place for the whole weekend?” 

“Yeah.” Jean frowns when he looks away from Eren’s bag to Armin and there’s this knowing look on Armin’s face (the same one that’s always there) and it drives Jean crazy. “What? What is it?” It’s always something with Armin. 

Always. 

Jean gets that Armin and Mikasa are Eren’s best friends. He gets that –had to when they became a constant way back when those three were lumped into the same advanced engineering program for high school. Between then and now, a lot of shit happened that made them disgustingly close. Whatever. Jean gets it. He also gets that they’re the weirdest fucking friends ever. 

E. V. E. R. 

Ever. 

The three of them live together in a one-bedroom apartment –one bedroom with one big ass bed that all three of them share (the rumors about that bedroom are endless). They do damn near everything together and have no secrets and communicate with glances or expressions and- and it’s fucking weird how close they are while claiming the whole “best friends” bit. It can’t be healthy, Being so wrapped up in one another like that can’t be the slightest bit healthy. To know every single fucking detail about one another’s daily lives and whereabouts and all of that miscellaneous bullshit that normal friends don’t give two fucks about but they care. Yup, not healthy. 

So fuck whatever everyone else says because Jean knows for a fact that Eren’s friendship with Armin and Mikasa is weird as all hell. Seriously. They’re like a fucking symbiotic entity that can’t function without all three parts. Not even friends that are fucking have that sort of relationship. 

Jean doesn’t get them. 

And, for some reason, Armin and Mikasa (mainly Mikasa) don’t get him. 

Which is fine. They still all manage to get along and have a good time but Jean will forever think they’re weird. He’s sure that Mikasa’ll always think he’s an asshole and Armin will never get tired of picking his mind. 

Just like Armin’s doing at the moment. “I just think the two of you are interesting.” 

Jean scoffs. “The pot calling the kettle black.” 

“You’re the only one that thinks Mikasa, Eren, and I have an interesting relationship but everyone openly talks about how odd you two are.” Everyone. “Well, kiss Eren for me and tell him to give me a ping later.” That said, Armin grabs his coat and leaves Jean to his own devices. It’s easier to interrogate Eren about things with Jean anyway. 

As soon as Armin leaves, Jean sinks into the couch and buries his face in his hands. For reasons that he can’t explain, reality chooses right then and there to sucker punch him in the gut and it’s over-fucking-whelming. 

There’s one thought that just keeps reverberating around his skull (just the one): he’s going to be a dad. 

Jean Kirstein is going to be a dad. 

A dad. 

Wrapping his head around that much is kind of simple. Kind of. 

See, he’s always wanted kids –not that he’s ever told anyone that bit of information but it’s a truth he’s held onto since he was a snot nosed brat skipping monkey-bars. He’s been planning his life out damn near forever and his plan was simple: finish his education track, get a stellar degree, get picked for a top tier career, make a shit ton of money, explore the world, find a nice person to settle down with, buy a big house, and start a family. Simple. 

It’s still simple. 

Most of that life plan has already been completed or accomplished. The last part about settling down and starting a family is happening sooner than he intended but it was bound to happen. 

It’s not like he’s getting any younger anyway. 

Then again, 26 isn’t exactly old… but there are people who start settling down at that age. The rare few who are usually like him –established citizens of society. 

On the other hand, he can admit to himself alone that he went about it all wrong. 

All. Wrong. 

Which means that there will be repercussions. The shit hitting the fan and blowing back all over him. 

It’s definitely going to come. A god awful point in time where everyone and everything just compiles and combusts all over the fucking place in one breath. 

It’ll happen. 

And he’ll be ready for it (or as ready as he can be). 

But never ready enough to deal with their parents. 

Jean knows for a fact that his folks are going to crucify him. It’ll be a complete and total verbal annihilation that he won’t be able to defend against because whatever his parents plan to say, a lot of it will hold a ring of truth. He can already hear them –from his mom’s crying to his dad cursing his name. Can imagine what they’ll say verbatim. “You fucked up, Jean”. “You’re irresponsible, Jean”. “You’re ruining your lives, Jean”. “Why would you let this happen, Jean”? Blah de fucking blah blah. 

They’ll blame him for sure (because they’ve always adored Eren and Eren’s always gotten away with murder –ever since they were children). They’ll probably blame him for ruining _Eren’s_ life and _Eren’s_ chances of becoming a proper citizen or some bullshit like that. 

It’ll be one of the shittiest conversations. 

And they’ll be vaguely right. Very vaguely. 

He can acknowledge that he _did_ fuck up and he _was_ irresponsible but he will never agree that his life _is_ ruined or that knocking Eren up is one of those fun things that he _let_ happen. Definitely won’t cop to fucking up Eren’s life because it’s not –not really. All of which he’s prepared to say and defend until he’s blue in the face. 

Not that his parents will listen. 

And telling Eren’s parents won’t be any better than telling his own and… yup. He won’t be a fan favorite for a very, very long time but- well- he’s used to that. Used to being a loner or a recluse. 

So he’ll take the blame and spare Eren the stress. 

Besides, as long as he and Eren stick together, no one else’s opinion will matter. 

But that’s a problem all on its own. Jean’s knows for a fact that he can show their parents that he’s man enough to own up to his mistakes and to make everything right. Convincing them will probably be a lot easier than convincing Eren. 

Changing a viewpoint of the bullheaded and arrogant Eren Jaeger… it makes him tired just thinking about it. 

Even though he was the one who charmed Eren into his bed, Eren made it very clear the morning after that it was just sex. That it would always just be sex between trusted partners. No awkward conversations or beating around the bush, if either of them wanted something to happen, all it took was one text or glance or word. A sweet deal because it meant that they were both free to date and explore and have fun with other people –Eren in particular because he’s still in college and growing into his own. 

Jean understood the arrangement then and he still understands it now. Except. 

Except that everything is different now. 

For him, everything is different. 

They’re having babies. 

They’re going to be (essential) a family. 

Except… 

Except they’re not. 

His definition of “being a family” involves marriage and shared space and compromise and- and he’ so fucking old fashioned when it comes to these things. If he could start all over again, he’d properly court Eren and get to know the moron for who he is at current as opposed to who he was when they were teenagers or before either of them left for their college programs. 

If only. 

It fucking sucks that he can’t press a reset button and he doesn’t want either of them to feel like they’re obligated to do anything just because children are involved. 

But, in all honesty, Jean can see himself dating Eren. Can picture the two of them making something serious out of a situation they were forced in to. Whether it turns out to be long- or short-term doesn’t exactly matter anymore because they’re stuck with each other for the next 21 years, minimum. But how they’re stuck together… that’s ultimately up to them. 

And Jean wants to make a proper person out of Eren. Wants to work towards his ideal “family” or, at the very least, wants to see if they can. 

It shouldn’t be hard. 

Not when Eren’s the perfect partner –on paper. He’s gorgeous and intelligent and emotive and reliable and he was raised well and he has a good support system. Sure, he’s temperamental and reckless and explosive but those aspects of his personality can be charming in the right situation. For example, Eren’s always been courageous and tenacious, even when the odds are stacked against him. Eren always presses forward and you have to respect a guy that keeps moving forward no matter what’s in his way. 

Eren’s perfect on paper –sadly, he’s just as perfect in person. 

Jean would know. He’s known Eren for a long time –all of Eren’s life. There have been years when they haven’t talked much or when they haven’t been close but they have a comfortable sort of relationship. A relationship built on history and trust and understanding that has been fine-tuned. The kind where they can fall in out of orbit with one another but it never feels unnatural. 

Actually, it’s kind of eerie how effortless it is to be with Eren (as friends or otherwise). 

But that’s what any good relationship should be like. 

It’s what makes everything work. 

And just as that thought hits him, his COM starts to flash and he lets it connect. Watches as Eren’s hologram pops up, “What’s up?” 

“ _On your way back, can you please, please bring me a burrito box and some donuts? You know what I like.”_

“Yeah, yeah.” Jean disconnects after Eren blows him a sarcastic kiss and- okay. 

Just seeing Eren while he’s mulling over the future confirms what he knew from the start but was too terrified to admit (both to himself and out loud): he’s excited about being a dad. About being linked to Eren in such a complex and intimate way. About having his own family. 

An unplanned chapter in the book of his life is just as exhilarating as a chapter he took the time to outline and slowly develop. 

Plus, he’s always wanted to be a dad. 

Always. 

Not that anyone would or will expect to hear _Jean Kirstein_ of all people screaming from the rooftops that he’s gung-ho about becoming a father (because he’s a cynic that hates people and thinks humanity is, generally, shitty). But he’s about to have two baby girls. Girls that are a product of him and Eren. 

If they can’t change the world, then no one can. No one. 

So, yes. Jean loves kids. Loves their innocence and openness and curiosity. He likes the idea of building up a mind and personality from nothing and watching it flourish into something. A child can become and do or be anything. Can dream up anything and make the world so fucking bright… 

Jean loves children. And he’s always wanted to be a dad. 

Now… he’s going to have two of his own. 

He and Eren. 

He and Eren will have two baby girls. 

Holy shit… he’s going to be a dad! 

And he’ll get to see Eren pregnant… 

Pregnant Eren… 

Pregnant Eren whining and bitching and glowing and having babies. 

_Their_ babies… 

Holy shit… Jean likes the way that sounds more than he ever thought he would. 

  


* * *

* * *

  


By the time Jean gets back, Eren’s asleep –passed out on the couch while a stream of “16  & Pregnant” watches him. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days but Jean can’t stop staring because Eren really is beautiful. He’s the sort of captivating that makes a person stop and stare in awe. Even when he’s just sleeping with the glow of the holoscreen illuminating his face. Makes him look sort of serene and docile and- and he’s so fucking beautiful just sleeping with his head propped on the arm of the couch and his mouth ajar- Eren’s beautiful. 

Or- fine. Jean’s convinced he’s being a sap because the day has finally taken its toll on him. His mind keeps racing back to the idea of fatherhood and he can’t help imagining Eren sleeping with one hand on a swollen stomach or while holding a baby and Jean can’t wait for one of those images to be an actuality. 

Can’t. Wait. 

Which is why he needs to (regretfully) wake Eren up. 

They’ve got a lot of shit to talk about and prepare for or consider in such a short amount of time. Jean lets the door slam shut behind him and only mildly feels like an asshole when Eren jerks awake, wild green-blue eyes glancing around the room before they settle on him. 

As soon as Eren catches sight of the Chipotle bag and the Dunkin’ box, he’s all smiles. “Dude… I can’t even explain to you how happy just seeing those bags makes me feel.” 

“Food always makes you happy.” It’s the reason why Sasha and Eren get along so well. 

“No, Jean. It’s different. Like, it’s the kind of happy I’d feel on uppers with a MegaBurger in front of me. That sort of happy.” Eren nabs the box of donuts as soon as Jean sits down beside him and when he opens it, his jaw quivers because Jean… Jean brought him all of his favorites. And Eren wants to cry because Jean is the best. The best. “You know, I think I just fell in love with you.” 

Jean snorts. “You get knocked up and turn into Sasha.” 

“There could be worse things that I turn into.” An asshole is at the top of the list. His temper already knows no bounds and he really can’t imagine what a hormonal version of himself will be like. 

Worse, he still can’t imagine being pregnant. 

_Being_ pregnant. 

Fuck… he’s pregnant… 

“Hey!” Jean notices it as soon as Eren slips into his thoughts and, given the circumstances, that’s not a good thing. “Ere… calm down… we’ll be okay.” If he’s starting to sound like a broken record, he really doesn’t give a fuck. He just needs Eren to believe him. 

To believe in them. 

“Yeah.” Eren sits his donuts down because he’s not really hungry anymore –can’t be with all of the bullshit mucking up his mind and making his stomach churn. 

A part of him wants to think that Jean is absolutely right. Everything will work out and his life won’t be ruined. But there’s just that other part ringing in the back of his mind that keeps screaming about how he’s totally and utterly fucked and he can’t make it shut up for the life of himself. 

“Every time you say ‘ _we’ll be okay_ ’, I believe you- I want to believe you but, the truth is, I’m fucked. And I’m fine with that. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m fucked and I won’t be alright. I just- It’d be easier to handle all of this bullshit if I had some kind of a plan. Something…” Something tangible to put his mind at ease because he keeps tottering between a breakdown and the numbness of reality and- 

“I’ve got a plan.” Jean’s lips twitch when Eren just gives him this skeptical look- “Just hear me out before you say anything, alright?” And people call him a pessimist… 

Eren scoffs but he turns his full attention to Jean. Is willing to listen because he has jack shit to offer as far as a plan is concerned. 

“You keep thinking about this entire situation in terms of you handling shit alone but you’re not alone. I told you, I’m in this from beginning to end. _We_ created those babies so _we_ have to take responsibility.” 

“But you’re already set. You finished your program, got citizenship, got a job… I’m almost there and I fuck it up by getting pregnant. You do know what happens to pregnant civies, right? We get dropped from our parent’s benefits, we lose our college funds… I have to notify the fucking school or the clinic is obligated to at the end of my first trimester-” 

“I know you think this is the end of the world but, again, you’re just thinking about all of this shit from your point of view-” 

“What other point of view should I look at this from, Jean?” Eren scowls turns to fully face Jean. “You tell me.” 

Jean sighs and runs his fingers through his hair (takes every effort not to bite Eren’s head off out of frustration). “Start thinking in terms of _we_. I’m a citizen that fathered children with a civilian, that means I can add the twins to my family registry beforehand and you can still keep the benefits from your parents.” 

“I-” Okay, admittedly, that’s the best fucking thing he’s heard all day. “Why the fuck didn’t you say that earlier?” 

“Why the fuck didn’t you give me a chance to say that earlier?” 

Eren laughs and it comes straight from the gut. He laughs and laughs and laughs until he starts sobbing and then he ends up in Jean’s arms and on Jean’s lap and- “I’ve been freaking out about all of this since Wednesday. I knew- on Wednesday I had a hunch and took the test. I took it 17 times, Jean. They all said the same thing. And I was so numb the first day and I couldn’t say shit to anyone and I didn’t know how to tell you anything and I kept thinking about how much I fucked up and how everyone was just gonna be so fucking disappointed in me… I’m sorry. I’m a fucking mess but you just saved my soul because I haven’t been able to think right or sleep or any of that shit and- yeah. Yeah.” 

Just three days of knowing that he’s pregnant and he can’t get his shit together. Makes Eren wonder what the fuck the next eight months will be like. 

How the fuck is he- are they going to survive? 

And- yeah. Jean’s right. Thinking in terms of “ _we_ ” makes it a lot easier for him to get his head together. It means that he only has to tackle half of the burden and half of the responsibility and half of every fucking thing under the goddamned sun when it concerns the pregnancy and the twins and all that comes with that. 

But the irony of finding comfort in being a collective “we” with Jean is just too much. 

Seriously. 

Too much. 

Eren never would have imagined or guessed it or planned it. Because it’s Jean. 

Jean, the childhood “big brother” that he’s always looked up to and respected in his own way. Jean, the hotshot software engineering genius that their parents and friends never stop talking about. Jean, the practical pessimist that’s always walking to the beat of his own drum and moving to a rhythm that only he can feel. Jean, the guy who seems and looks and gives off this air of unreliability but he’s probably one of the most reliable and trustworthy people that Eren’s ever met. He just has a horrid personality and a foul mouth… except for when Jean doesn’t and when he doesn’t, people tend to forget all about his worst qualities because he can be charming as fuck. 

Eren knows that first hand. 

But, he knows Jean too. 

Knows that they’re (at times) like oil and water and then he’s surprised when they’re like two well-oiled cogs in a machine that can’t operate without the other. 

For as much as they aren’t friends, they’re equally best friends. 

It’s such a multifaceted relationship that Eren can’t begin to explain but he’s thankful for it all the same. 

If anyone was going to knock him up, he’s glad that it was Jean. 

“I’ve been telling you this our whole lives: you’re a total fucking spazz.” 

That makes Eren chuckle wetly but then Jean’s canting his head and staring –makes him feel like he’s flayed open and on display. 

“But I’ve also told you that I’m always around. Whether we talk every day or every third year, I’m always here for you. And now, well, I have no choice.” 

“Not for the next 21 years,” those words are soft and light, twisted with humor and a touch of seriousness. 

Jean cracks a smile and resists the urge to kiss Eren’s swollen bottom lip. “We’ll make this work. Your life isn’t over –it’s just starting.” 

Eren hums and leans into Jean, “Okay, wise one. What next? What else do you have planned?” 

If his cheeks turn a little pink, Jean’s glad that Eren can’t see him. It’s not that he’s nervous but- but he is because he has his own plan for making things work out in his favor and slowly pulling Eren on board. One step at a time. “At the beginning of your second tri, I want you to move in with me. You don’t have to worry about rent and there’s more than enough room for you and the twins and I want to be a part of this whole thing. I know that Armin and Mikasa are everything to you or what the fuck ever but-” 

“Okay.” Eren yawns and snuggles closer because Jean is ridiculously warm. 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean, I’d be a real dick to deny the father of my kids that much. You’re not some random fuck off of the street and you’re the one who keeps emphasizing this ‘ _we_ ’ thing. And, of course I love Armin and Mikasa and our apartment but, let’s be real here. You have a three bedroom loft with a kitchen I’d kill you for and all of the latest tech plus more fucking windows than wall space. Sold.” With two kids on the way, Eren doesn’t want to worry about working or space or any of that. 

He’ll still pay his share of the rent at the apartment and he can’t imagine not bothering them nonstop. Armin and Mikasa will and will forever be a big part of his life –they’re his home away from home. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. 

On the other hand, Jean is in complete and utter shock. He didn’t think it’d be that easy but, maybe he doesn’t know Eren as well as he thought he did after all. 

“What else?” 

Jean reigns himself and pulls Eren closer. “Just finish your last year. Don’t worry about money or any of that other bullshit right now. Whatever you need, I’ll make sure you get it.” It’s the right thing to do. 

“Jean… you don’t-” Eren bites his lip. Lets the words roll around his tongue before he settles on a good sentence to spit out. “You really don’t have to do all of that. I- I feel like I should be apologizing or something. I mean, I’m probably the last person that you wanted to have kids with and-” 

“That’s not true. I’d pick you over a shit ton of other people in a heartbeat.” That comes out sounding more eager than he wanted it to but it’s the truth. 

And if Eren’s pulse picks up speed after hearing that, he doesn’t let it show. “I- really?” Eren had every intention of letting that go but- but really? 

“Yes. You’ve got nice genes, if nothing else.” 

That’s just a fact. “Same to you then.” 

“I’ve got nice genes or you’d pick me over a shit ton of other people?” 

“Hmm… both. I guess.” 

Jean’s heart skips a beat. 

“Anyway, I’m still sorry we’re in this shitty situation but, hey, it could be worse.” 

“Could be.” 

“We could talk about this forever but, I’m so fucking tired now and I really just want to fall asleep while watching that shitty show about kids being pregnant.” 

“Lights.” The lights shut off and Jean snaps his fingers for the stream to start. “Go to sleep. We’ll talk later.” 

Eren doesn’t have to think twice about that. 

  


* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> So... there's this. I couldn't resist and I couldn't help it. This story here is the reason for my hiatus after my last post (this and the fact that I moved from one state to the next and didn't have net until yesterday lol)! But, um... THIS!
> 
> Future Tech: So, there's holo-shit all over the place in this story. And then there're things like that DNA scanner and the COMs (aka cellphone of the future). There'll probably be more at some point. I dunno... This story isn't about that but those things are there. 
> 
> True Alternate Universe: This really takes place outside of our world. Like, this is a gender fluid world where -as in, gender doesn’t matter with regard to giving birth (people are either bearers or they aren’t). You know, a world where gender and sexuality and all of that jazz doesn’t matter or factor in to anything. People can just be (in a sense). It's sort of my idea world.
> 
> Citizens and Civilians: Alright, Citizens are established members of society. In this world, you become a Citizen after completing an education program and being placed into a career, joining the military, or after being a laborer for a few years. Citizens have perks in society such as benefits and the flexibility to pretty much live as they please. Civilians have less freedom and are tiered. For example, Eren's parents are Citizens and, because he's under their care (21 years is adulthood in this world) and registered as their child, he gets all of their perks. However, pregnant Eren would be considered an individual Civilian and he'd lose all of the perks (which he was freaking out about) because a child indicates that he's an adult. So that's how that works.
> 
> There's probably more about this world that I should mention but can't think of so, if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask me! Also, if you want to read the whole story, subscribe to the series as opposed to the story because all chapters will be posted individually.
> 
> Alright, enough rambling from me! Thanks so much for reading! If you dug it, drop me a line (I love conversation)!


End file.
